There are certain experiences that you want to avoid but sometimes these events also turn into the most memorable parts of your travelling experience – my encounter with the ladyboys of Koh Tao was certainly one of these moments…
The Bucket List
Thailand proved a great success when it came to ticking things off the buckets list, and nestled in there was witnessing a Ladyboy Cabaret.
Fellow Tao lover @toniwonitravels had recommended I choose the islands Cabaret as the venue for this experience so when a group of my island buddies suggested hitting it I was game!
Now I’d encountered a few ladyboys already in Thailand – mainly in Chaeweng Beach on Samui – so they weren’t a massive shock. However (and after much discussion with many fellow male backpackers I’ve decided I can admit this!) I was taken aback by how glamours and dare I say it stunning they can be!
I have no idea how the whole culture of the ladyboy came about, and it’s certainly an odd lifestyle and career choice – but they do a dam convincing job of it!
I’d be very reluctant to ever kiss an Asian lady in Thailand and have met a few guys who ended up in some rather compromising positions without realising it until it was too late!
Let the show begin
After taking our seats and buying a rather overpriced drink (about 150 for a small beer – although there was no cover charge so I consider it a fair purchase!) the show began.
To be honest I had no idea what I was expecting but it was definitely ‘different’!
The opener included about 10 ladyboys busting some epic moves whilst the lead ‘singer’ dressed as Lady Gaga mimed her was through the song.
That pretty much set the tone for the whole performance – costume changes and personnas to match all manner of famous singers, from Britney through to Madonna!
Throughout the whole thing our whole group was constantly shocked by how good they looked!
We had however been anticipating some audience participation and were keen to force Jez or Rich on stage!
Unfortunately I had stupidly sat next to the aisle and when the time came I was an easy target – forced to my feet by the guys i also noticed Jez trying to bail out of being brought into a similar fate!
After a quick “I’ll go if you do” I was dragged backstage by one of them…
A Bad Decision?!
Now when you get dragged backstage by a lady boy on your own (I had been taken a different route than Jez) into a crazy dressing room full of fake breasts, feather boas and lit mirrors your kind of caught off guard.
When your then told by a bikini clad dude to drop your trousers you begin to panic!
But in the interest of a good story, and knowing full well I would’ve forced any of the other into the same situation I bit the bullet!
So there I am in my boxers not knowing where the hell this is heading quite frankly terrified, I’m quickly handed a wig and squeezed into a bikini before being led to the side of the stage behind the curtain.
By this time I’m joined by a few of the other guys who’d been given the same fate – the terror was lifted by the fact one of them (a rugby type who was definitely bucket drunk) dry humping one of the ladyboys shouting
“is it weird that I have a massive hard on right now“?!
Possibly one of the weirdest things I’ve ever witnessed, but it certainly eased the tension!
Before I know it the curtains come up and I’m forced on stage with the others and all the ladyboys and told to dance!
And you know the first thing I notice when I locate my mates for some reassurance?!
Fully dressed, pissing his pants laughing at me and mouthing “I’m sorry”.
The cheeky bugger had bailed and gone back to his seat!
(although it later turned out he had suffered the same ‘drop your trousers’ line and unable to locate me had called it quits’)
So there I am dancing around, dressed as a chic, surrounded by dudes dressed in all manner of female clothing – from hot pants to PVC corsets – squeezing fake breasts that are shoved my way and trying to make sense of it all.
And to make matters worse I was sober too!
After what seemed like a lifetime we we introduced to the crowd, applauded and taken backstage to grab our stuff.
And Then It Happened…
I quickly jumped back into my shorts and tshirt and buzzing on adrenaline from the terror chatted to the other guys trying to figure out how the hell I’d ended up in this situation!
And naturally when presented with a room full of scarily attractive ladyboys me and the guys got our token photos with them all.
It was while this was happening one one of the guys who was posing certainly looked rather uncomfortable – I took a double take when I realised one of the ‘girls’ had her hand inside his boxers!
The look on his face was something I’ll never forget – the perfect balance of fear and arousal!
I decided to be on the safe side – grab one more pic and bail before stuff got even weirder!
It seemed it was too late…
As I posed for a shot I turned to say thanks and was promptly rape snogged!
Yup that’s right.
A dude dressed as a chic, with fake boobs and in skimpy clothing wacked a kiss right on my lips and fully went for the snog!
Now I’m pretty comfortable with my sexuality – and have drunkenly kissed my mate Kyle for a dare on a few occasions – but even I have my limits, and this had definitely reached them!hahaha!
I made a hasty retreat back into the bar to the amusement of my buddies and after safely staying behind the camera to get some pics for them we bailed!
So yeah, I went to Koh Tao, danced on stage and got rape snogged by a Ladyboy – how many other travellers can say that?!